Pursuit of Happiness: Entropy

Here are some photos from Halloween. It was the first real Halloween Asher has been wandering around and getting candy and understanding what was going on, so it was really really fun. His favorite was DEFINITELY handing out candy- he gave most of his away once we got home and he was helping me answer the door.

Valerie made a gorgeous Red Riding Hood and Candra was a zombie-fied nurse. The girls had a fantastic time- I let them do their own thing- and Asher and I went around our former neighborhood (tear) with our friends from church, and that was a lot of fun. Asher wanted to go into every house, inspect every decoration, and really did not care much about the candy. It was definitely an experience!

As for the title of the blog... It is so hard sometimes, to try and do the mom thing- after having done the work thing- and have no real help. This year, I made a deal with Valerie- I would let her dress up- and trick or treat- for Halloween, if she helped with Asher. I knew that it would be "fun" keeping up with him. When Friday's church party got here- I told Valerie to go and just have fun. She really has not wanted to do ANYTHING with Church since the ordeal this summer. She actually tried to work out some things with the people involved, but felt pushed away, so she really wants nothing to do with anything anymore. I did not want her to go to this and feel like Asher's other mom, so I told her to just go have fun. She did, but I was literally almost in tears trying to keep up with Asher. He is so wild and crazy. He runs over other kids (unintentionally) falls, runs into corners and ledges, wants to knock over decorations or stomp on them... it was not fun, and it was after a really busy week and really busy DAY at work, so I was just... begging for help after an hour and a half. Valerie was not amused with the temper-tantrum, so again, I let her go into the car, while I attempted the trick or treat with Asher. We went to three rooms in the church and that was it. He didn't "get" that he was supposed to say "trick or treat" get a piece of candy and go- he wanted to inspect the room, go into the room, touch the person's costume... So... we made it to three rooms, and then I was done, so it was time to go. Complete with throw-himself-on-the-floor meltdown. I was good though- I just picked him up and his candy and he said "MY TICK OR TREAT!" and we went back to the car.

I had to remind myself- at least this is only when we go out- he used to be like this every moment at home too. Wow. That was just... wow. I had tears in my eyes when I finally got out to the car. It is not easy for me to chase him, catch him, pick him up and try to redirect him for 90 minutes straight. It is just not "worth it."

Anyway, then Monday, same song, different verse, but instead of asking Valerie and Candra for help, I decided (again) it really is not fair to put "all that" on her, so I told them "be home at 9:30" and that was the only rule.

I went around the block with Asher. It was similar in experience, but I knew what to expect. Ruuuuuun down the driveways, push through any children already patiently waiting- trying to grab him and pull him back, and apologize to the children and parents involved. Trip up the steps, tell him "say trick or treat" as he pulls their costume, or inspects their fingernails, then flips out when it is time to go back down the steps (tripping), up the driveway (tripping) and onto the next house. We went around the block. That was enough for me. Asher, of course, had a wonderful time and I kept reminding myself of that. "he's having fun, don't get stressed... he's smiling, he's happy..."

When we got home and turned on OUR porch light, Asher LOVED handing out candy. In fact, he gave out handfuls and all of his own ;-) Every time we opened the door though... he would inspect costumes, then show everyone his pumpkin, follow them down the steps and cry when they left. Needless to say, after another hour, I turned off the light on the porch. I did make sure no one was headed over when I did it though. It was shocking that all this happened by 8:30. I was just plain beat.

Then I got him into the bath tub and Valerie and Candra came home with their candy. It was really a good night, but I know it was because I had to talk myself down from the stressed-out ledge. Whhhhewwwww, deep breath. It was allll good though. Asher had a wonderful time and I got through it. Next year, I pray to God Matt will not be working 2nd shift (or 3rd shift!!) and is working 1st shift. This is really not the best situation for our family.

I had to come to the very painful realization that it is actually putting a lot of stress on all of us and non of us are particularly happy- except Asher. He really is pretty content. However, after Sunday with Matt and I both home at the same time for the entire day, Monday is hard on him.

Also, we had legit snow Saturday. THAT was INSANE! This was not flurries, or a little here and there, we got SIX INCHES of snow that broke all sorts of trees which still had leaves on them. It was truly unbelievable. Climate change, anyone?