What a week...and I am not even including work hustling

Cousins looking up train sets and rollercoasters

Basketball Asher

JUMP!

Luken, the day before...

This picture caused my heart to hurt when I saw it upload tonight.  It has been a week.  Last Saturday evening, Luken started acting really weird- not eating any of his homemade chicken and rice, he barely wanted to get up and go outside- which he normally LOVES, and he was just sooooo lethargic.  He was drinking lots, and definitely happy to see me whenever I came to pet and hug and brush him.  I knew something was wrong though.  So, we took him to the vet the soonest appointment, he was alert and happier then.  That was Tuesday.  Wednesday, Matt said he was "really, really tired" and we came home to him having died.  That was pretty awful.  Valerie was in tears, I was trying to shield Asher from seeing him (he just looked asleep) and I was in shock.  I picked him up, like a baby and laid him on the back porch overnight and tried to figure out what on earth happened.  In the mean time, I held Valerie like a baby too and Asher kept saying "what's wrong?! Where A-wex!?"

After about an hour, after I tearfully told Matt what had happened, Valerie and I were sitting in the kitchen, and Asher ran in.

Asher "He's HERE!"
Me "who"
Asher "A-wex! He's going up now!"
Me "Does he know we love him?"
Asher (nods head) "where iPad?"

Like it was the most normal thing in the world.  This is one of those glimpses we rarely get and it needed to be written.

Thursday, I had been exchanging lots of emails with a friend of mine who is a vet, the rescue, and her vet.  The vet we had taken him to was rude, to be honest, but after lots of advice, phone calls, and recommendations, we decided to take him to the state vet examiner here in town.  We needed to have him creamated and we wanted to find out what on earth happened.

Matt got a call- and the vet told us Luken died of a Hemangiosarcoma that originated in his liver, spread to his heart, spleen and kidneys.  There was nothing anyone could have done to know or prevent it.  The miracle of it all is that for his last month, he was absolutely adored and totally loved.  He knew that and surely felt the tears that we all have shed for him.  I am so glad we had him for his last month, yet the pain is great.  

The most remarkable series of events happened from there with out-pouring of love from the rescue, their vets and volunteers and a miracle named Misha.  Last night at this time, I felt no desire or inclination to get another dog, but events today have been remarkable, to say the least, and we have a new girl- Misha. We are so grateful for the lessons (and exercise we got every time Luken broke away from us) that we have learned from our sweet boy.  Also, that kindness and opening one's self to sharing raw emotion is ok.


Here is one of the emails I wrote to the rescue leader:

It has been a day.  Last night was the worst, we were all awake most of the night.  I kept listening for the jingle of his dog tag every time I walked downstairs, which was often.

We called his vet this morning, and to be blunt, she was really awful.  We will never use her ever again, and will be vocal about our terrible experience tempered with no understanding of what we have been through in the last 2 days.  Our great concern is that he was there and basically given a pat on the head, and he died the next day.  I do not blame a vet, but I certainly expected some professional integrity and we were met with smugness instead.

I work with an amazing DVM- she teaches microbiology here, and she runs the emergency vet clinic.  Like the person you spoke with last night, she told me that we may never know "why," but gave me some ideas about how to proceed. We took Luken to the state examiner today and he will be getting a thorough examination and necropsy there.  I am hopeful we find some answers, but so heart broken over the loss of our boy.  He was such an absolute joy and we were all totally in love.  A lot of my friends have been supportive, and the thing that gets me every time is when they say something like, " he spent his last weeks absolutely and totally loved. " That is true.  While we are heart-broken, it is because we loved and were loved so much.

I will definitely let you know what they find.  We were told we could expect preliminary results this evening.  Such a far cry from the way we were treated by the vet we saw in Timberville.  I am afraid that the vet thought we were being accusatory, when really, we were just really confused.

Anyway, that is what is going on there.

I am so sorry, I feel terrible that one of your babies died so soon after adoption.

Crystal 

This is Valerie and Misha

It's been great to see her smile and mean it

She's  a beauty, eh?  

Asher is happy too

And very curious