The Mean Kid and the Role of a Parent in Supervising their Children

This is a super-touchy topic.  My hope is not to upset anyone, or leave anyone feel attacked by me.  I have no particular person in mind.  However, I have seen a lot of unattended children.  Children, that I feel, are at a risk of being harmed- and even harming others, knowing that their actions are not being monitored.

I learned this trick while watching a movie! (Commando!) I showed my brothers and many friends this awesome trick!

First of all, I openly admit it: I am a helicopter parent.  I always have been.  I do not apologize for it.  Instead, I tell people why.

By the time I was 8 years old, I had a very clear idea of sex.  I had been molested by... ten or more different people.  An uncle, a baby-sitter, friends of my parents, father's of a friend, a brother of a friend... and even kids my age.  I literally have no memory that is not having had the experience of sexual molestation.

In addition, I was hit, pushed, my hair pulled.  I was told to do things that hurt me by older kids I trusted...

I also saw my brother cut his finger deeply.  The same brother got a 4 inch gash in the bottom of his foot while walking around with no shoes on outside.

Another brother, at age 3 picked up an extremely sharp knife, and threw it at another brother (I have four, you know), and HE got a huge gash on his forehead.

One brother (age 5) was riding his bike (apparently) down the busiest street in town and got hit by a car.  We had no idea... until the sherrif came to our house.  He was in the hospital for a week.

6 months later, another brother was hit on the same street while walking- he broke bones (that were never set) in his foot.


The brother closest in age to me stabbed me in the neck with a fork, closed a metal folding chair and hit me in the face with it, and threw a metal hot wheels car at me as he stood at the top, and I at the bottom of the stairs.  I have a scar right above the tear-duct of my right eye from that one...

All these things led me to have one thought growing up:

I AM NEVER HAVING KIDS!

Then, as I matured, that many of these accidents were absolutely preventable- some: no, most: yes.  If a parent supervising their child.

It is a LOT OF WORK to be constantly aware of ones infant/toddler/preschooler/elementary schooler, but at about age 10, they are easier to give a bit of freedom.  I am not saying that is THE RIGHT WAY to do things, but it is a better way than paying no attention to children, and instead surfing the internet, talking to friends and letting the kids run wild, or reading a book.



My version of parenting requires constant engagement, and yes, it is exhausting, but I feel like it is necessary to train up a child and keep them safe.  From molesters, bullies, and just hazards of being inside/outside or upside down.



I don't like playdates, simply because I DO watch my child.  I can't carry on conversation with the other moms because I am constantly watching my child.  What that means, is that then I am watching everyone's children.  It is awful.  I hate playdates.  Also, and the point of this post: kids who aren't being watched have the tendency to be mean kids.  Just saying.  Then, a leader of the group of unwatched kids will lead the kids to pick on certain other kid(s), and when it is my kid... I just don't have much understanding.  When the pack of kids realizes that they are being watched, wow... the sneakiness that ensues.  I tried to make a video of the whispering and "hiding" (turning around) to try to plot deviousness, but dangit, my old phone only takes still photos... I am just going to stop there.

 Of course, there are very attentive mothers too- they set up craft tables, story corners, prepare lunch with their kids, have a small television break, then activities for learning and creating all day- it is EXHAUSTING.  I say, however, that is what parenting should be.

Sorry, this post has been building up for a year now.  Having been in a family where kids were harmed because no one was watching them, I have a lot of thoughts about the topic....