In high school, I was a track runner. I ran the 800, 1600, 3200. I was a runner. I ran every day. For years. Then I started college and ran for a year, had a baby, and stopped running. I picked it up again when Valerie was 5.
I ran until she was 11... then I was working multiple jobs, often 12-16 hour days, had a very, very hard pregnancy and gave birth to the baby who never slept more than 2 hours at a time till he was three, and I had... ahem... a lot of other stress going on at the same time. I absolutely lost myself. I remained mostly lost until the last 15 months. Then last December (2012), I made some promises. I set some goals, I reached them. This December, I decided to make more goals. This time, it was time to physically transform myself.
The cessation running was paired with some really bad eating habits. I skipped breakfast and lunch, drank a couple diet Dr Pepper, and ate carb-heavy dinner. I made brownies or cake at least once a week, and I definitely ate them as dinner a time or two.
I knew what I was doing- and that is- I was allowing myself to get into habits to transform myself into the person I felt like- dragged down, neglected... unattractive... Ugh.
So.
I decided (again in December...) to change that. I knew it would be hard. I knew it would be slow. I knew I would want to give up, but I made the decision to transform myself again.
I started exercising. I started eating deliberately, and better.
Today, I have had a couple people ask "what did you do?" So I am at the point that I am really thinking about it. Remember, this is 3 months in. It is not fast. It is not easy. It requires dedication.
Here is how I did it:
Breakfast every morning- a banana, or granola, or even a string cheese stick
Lunch- something- even if just a banana
Drive home: some sort of snack- my favorite is almonds or something like that.
Dinner- something light, but delicious.
These things have been really great:
I try not to stress out about food. I stay away 100% from white sugar and white flour... and I try to stay away from sugar in general. If I see "high fructose corn syrup" it does not go into my body.
I do like much more, how I look. I still have a few places I would like to focus on, and I want to run a 5K in June, so I have just began training for that as well. It is hard. It requires a lot of effort, but it has been great to focus on something about me.
In the meantime, I am also trying to be deliberate about how I act, how I live, and how I treat people. It has been an interesting journey, but I am on my way back to myself. To be honest, I have really missed myself. Even Valerie told me she really missed me and she is glad I am back. So... this thing that was about me is affecting people I love, and that is just wondeful.
I will say, I look *so* forward to my salad every evening. I do not really miss the sugar or flour at all... except good ciabatta. It is just a process of forming good habits, and keeping them, that I have been invested in.
And now... for a little song that reminds me of myself.
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