Why I Care

I was in a small dorm room at Emory University in Atlanta, GA when I heard this talk.  I had been really struggling to be a part of the LDS church.  When I heard this talk, the tears flowed and flowed.  I contacted John, and I am here to say, this responses to me were so kind, caring, loving.  It was then that I became a big fan of John.  A few months later, when he became more active in the church, I got really mad at him, and told him such, but I have gotten over that.  I have stood up for him many times in the last year and a half.  I really think he is a great, wonderful, kind person.

Listen to this talk.  John in his own words.  Tell me that he deserves to be ex-communicated.



Then there is Kate.  I met her at the Washington DC Circling the Wagons conference.  She is dynamic and articulate.  She is VERY FAITHFUL and defends the LDS faith in everything that she does and in how she lives.  Her organization, which has given so many hope and purpose is the reason she is being ex-communicated.  Her response:  "Essentially what they are asking me to do is live an inauthentic life and not tell the truth about what I think and feel and that isn't possible,"

Oh, how I get that.  My resolve in 2013 was to live authentically.  It is actually what led me to leave the LDS church.  That she is being forced out... it is not ok.  Tell me that she deserves to be ex-communicated.









As I was leaving OSHA training for its final day, I got this in 5 emails, 3 private messages on Facebook, and then I saw it pop up in group after group that I am part of.    People are upset, people are outraged, and people who have stayed on the fringe are being forced to make hard decisions. 

We, in the midst of what it is to be an ex-mormon also were told that Alan Rock Waterman is also up for being ex-communicated.  He is incredibly thoughtful and hopeful.  He is honest and good.

His blog has been a foundation for those who consider themselves NOMs (New Order Mormons).  His addition to this list is just awful.



This blog post is just incredible.  It is a guest post and shares the thoughts of thousands of those who stay on the edges of mormonism.  Those who think through things and really try hard to reconcile many areas of their lives.

Tell me he deserves to be ex-communicated.



As for why I care... why I am STILL talking about the LDS church.

Mormons have a giant missionary force.  Count me in as the opposite of that.  That is one reason I am still involved.  When the missions efforts stop, I will consider doing the same.

I have been hurt in big ways.  I have been shamed.  I gave up a lot of my dreams for years to be a good mormon wife and mother.  It literally cost me my home, my car, and food in my children's stomachs.  Had I focused more on my career in the first years of my mormon marriage, and not on NOT working, we would be in a much better position as a little family today.  I did not do that though, and realizing what the temple sealer told me was actually wrong changed everything for me.  Stepping out of those prescribed roles has been the saving grace for not only me, but my family.

My daughter was shamed publically for her body and for her choice to choose.

My son was dragged down the hall by a nursery worker because I wanted him in nursery, and not in primary.

I was yelled at in Sunday School "WE WILL NOT DISCUSS THAT HERE!" when I challenged a lesson about the Family Proclamation detailing a gender binary, when I know, as a biologist and embryologist, that "gender" is a contiuum, with hermaphroditicism in the middle.  These people exist.  Pretending otherwise is ludicrous and noting such does not render me worthy of being shamed and yelled at in a church meeting.

I realized that I learned the same lessons over and over and over again, and that I could right now, give a talk on just about any of those familiar subjects.  I could give a talk, people would "feel the Spirit", and it would simply be memorization on my part...

This is why I still am involved.  I LOVE ex-mormons.  They are my closest friends, they are my source of strength.  There is something truly remarkable and special about ex-mormons.  There just is.  We have left a cult.  It takes courage, strength and resolve.  We still have mormons in our lives who love us at arms' length or not at all.  We have people who need to know you can still be a kind, loving, successful life outside the church... 

...and that is why I care.