Hmmm... I have a lot on my mind (rest assured), I am just not so sure that any of that is something that anyone wants to read about. If it IS, feel free to give me a call, I will be happy to tell you what is on my mind.
Today I went to work. I sweat a LOT moving my things up two floors, moving a 5 foot filing cabinet and a really tall bookshelf, a table and some chairs. I felt good being there though. I looked out my window onto the campus and just felt good. I looked at the files of my advisees and felt good, I looked at my books and my files and my things to do... it felt good.
Why?
I don't know- I guess because I have control over those things. I know I can successfully DO those things. I feel very secure in that environment. While I was there, I was looking at the laptop I bought at the same time I was baptized. Man, there are some amazing memories on there. I was happy and pretty and young- always smiling... Valerie was happy and always smiling. Neither of us smile much any more. What does that mean? What do I do?!
I want to be more like the person on my laptop and less like the person on this barstool.
What do I do?
I am talking with my bishop tomorrow about "all of this" and hope he can give me some insight. I clearly can not be trusted with important decisions. For every time I REALLY feel I am making the right one, I feel like my teeth have gotten knocked in as of late... the two exceptions being my children and my job.
And now Valerie, Asher and I are all sick. What's up with that?
1 comment:
So, I'm just catching up on blogs after my unplanned summer vacation...So sorry things are crazy for you guys again. Hope your visit with the bishop helps.
Post a Comment