I am glad I went to church Sunday. It started my week so well and on the right foot. I was inspired because... I hope this is ok to share.
I had been thinking about going back, but I have been tentative because of the feeling of people judging me, really... Anyway. It has been on my mind a lot. Then Thursday, a sister-in-law (I am not naming names with my ex and his stalking girlfriend running amuck) was induced into labor and laboring hard all day. Suddenly, after 3 am Friday, I woke up all the sudden. I grabbed my phone and texted- asking if everything was ok and got a reply that the baby had JUST the moment before, been born. I then heard from the mom and mom's best friend that it was crazy weird how I texted at that moment. I always joke that I am "psycho" (psychic, haha) when things like that happen, and they do, admittedly, fairly often. I could not go back to sleep after that. I kept thinking of what a gift from God that is and how I want more of the gift and for it to be enhanced by virtue of having the Holy Ghost. I decided to go back to church. The last time I had been was the end of January... after I asked to be released from my calling (ugh, why'd I do that?)...
Anyway, I watched the Young Women broadcast with Bria and Valerie and thought over and again that I HAD to go back for the betterment of me and when the alarm went off soooo early Sunday, I was the first one up- shocking Matt, I am sure.
Anyway, it was the right and the best decision this year and all made possible by the birth of a special little girl.
One other thought. The best thing from being so upset by my ex is my memory of why I so desperately wanted to escape when it got so awful. I still have nightmares I am still there. It has afforded me a chance to really love and remember why I love Matt so much. He has not a selfish or vicious cell in his body, whereas before... and currently, those two characteristics have haunted me greatly. I can only trust that true justice will prevail in the end with that situation. I do need prayers, however. It is a burden to me at this time. Anyway, I let Matt sleep in the bedroom with me and we fell asleep holding hands. So tender.
Here are some images from my week thus far.
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| Taco dip thanks to Carly buying some things from me |
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| HILARIOUS caption from a student who scored a perfect score on his Genetics quiz |
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| Beautiful Alexis went to lunch with me Tuesday |
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| Ants Marching |
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| Prepping 120 16S RNA DNA sequences to go out... TE-DI-OUS |
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| ice. at the end of March. In the 1997 Tercel with my baby in the backseat= scary |
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| LOVES (and misses her when she is gone) HIS SISTER |
4 comments:
Great post! I am glad things are getting better, and you are right, Matt is a loving, kind man, even if he has his down sides.
Finding a place of peace where we can feel inspiration is important. I am glad you are going to church, it is a great outlet, but do not forget that you dont need to be there to get this inspiration. Start asking your angels to teach you, then be open and you will start having MANY more experiences like the baby one above. Trust they will talk to you, and as you get better at listening and paying attention, it will happen more and more.
Last night when scott was in the ER, there was a little girl on the other side of the curtain just screaming and crying. I started to do reike on her. It was amazing, and my first experience in it really working. I need to tell you about it.
I am proud of you. You are moving forward to good things! Love you!
I adore you, Katy. I think the best lesson I learned is that my expectations were too high and that it is ok to trust my own selfmfornsome things. I was holding too tightly and got burnt-out and disappointed. Now, I will hold dearly the ward at arms-length and more precious things next to my heart.
My own self for some things- hah hah. I am dying ti hear about your ER experience.
This is something I'm always going to hold close and tell Ila about when she's older. She was special from the beginning.
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